dreams of flight...why felix baumgartner matters...

two competing images in the news as of late - man's dreams of flight, and old white america's fear of obamageddon.  the absolute vitriol, irrationality, and idiocy that has become american political discourse...where the timing of the word "act of terror" is more important than words "created equal" juxtaposed with the beautiful lunacy of one man living his dream, and most other's nightmare, of falling towards the earth from nearly 25 miles above.  the first an example of just how small and petty we can be when we forget our smallness.  the second an awesome reminder of that smallness.


felix baumgartner stepped out of a small capsule nearly 130,000 feet above the earth, shattered the speed of sound, and somehow landed on his feet.  some are claiming it was a pointless stunt, a sham attempt at 15 seconds of fame by a digital age daredevil.  perhaps they've forgotten that it is mankind's inner drive to test the limits of ourselves, to push the envelope for the sake of pushing the envelope, that has lead to so much that we enjoy.  perhaps they've forgotten what it is to be human and to be full of wonder and awe, to imagine joining the birds in flight, to gaze up at the stars at night and wonder what they see.  regardless, they just do not get it.


this was important.  perhaps not moon-landing important, but important nonetheless.  set aside the scientific bonanza that this will carry, this was a reminder of what we, as a people, are capable of when we set aside the bullshit that defines too much of our lives and, literally, aim for the stars.  make no mistake about this...this was, quite simply, making the impossible a reality.  this was a stunningly beautiful reminder that we, as a people, can do anything if we get together and refuse to accept it cannot be done, no matter what "it" is...poetically combined with the reality witnessed by the man who lived his dream, who reminded us that reaching the greatest of heights serves to remind us just how small we really are, who reminded us that no matter how far we go, no matter our hopes and dreams and desires, in the end, we all just want to go home.

we tend to forget this, particularly during a never-ending election season.  regardless of what happens on November 6th, the world will go on, and we will remain small...the question is whether we will act the part.

rules of dress from the best-dressed lawyer in new mexico...

watching the debate last night...one thing that I (sadly) could not get from my mind was how inappropriate Mitt Romney's take on american trad was for the occasion...and not solely because the god-awful pooling of his pants above his shoes.  and when a guy like Romney blows dressing for his first presidential debate, it is little wonder that professionals of the greatest state in the southwest often struggle with appropriate dress, and even less wonder that the idiots on HuffPost live were (gasp) wearing suit jackets with jeans.  so, for the benefit of all mankind, and womankind's eyes, I present you...HCIC's rules for appropriate suit and dress attire...

1.  find a good tailor...love him, please him and trust him.  there is a reason he's been fitting men's suits for decades.  if you are in Albuquerque...he can be found at the Tailorite - his name is Duc.

2.  if you only have one suit, it must be solid navy or charcoal.  this is not negotiable.

3.  solid black is for formal occasions and funerals.  walk right, and this is negotiable.

4.  the amount of break in your pant leg is a matter of personal style.  but know that if there is too much break and your pants pool on your shoes a-la-Romney last night or I can see an inch of your socks while you stand there...you have no style.

5.  some will tell you pleats must be accompanied by cuffs and flat front must not be accompanied by cuffs.  these men are fools.  cuff is a matter of personal style, just know why you chose what you chose.*

6.  there is an exception to rule 5.  formal attire is never cuffed.


7.  pleats vs. flat front are a matter of personal style...but please do not try to wear flat front if you're on the larger side.

8.  there is an exception to rule 7.  pleats must be worn with double-breasted jackets.

9.  the length of the jacket is a matter of personal style.  but know that, contrary to thom browne's wishes, if I can see your ass sticking out from under your jacket...you have no style.  and know that, unless you are an NBA player, if your jacket stretches below your testicles...you have no style.

10.  if your jacket collar doesn't lay flush against your shirt collar you are the suiting equivalent of the texan carrying his skis like a baby in his arms.  we all know you have no clue what you are doing.  (see Paul Ryan).

11.  yes, a jacket can be too tight.

12.  most jackets are too loose.  it isn't a blanket.  you don't need room.

13.  if you struggle with rules 10, 11 and 12, refer to rule 1.

14.  suit coats are never to be worn without the matching pants.**  this is not negotiable.  its called a sport coat.  buy one.

15.  your tie must be louder than your shirt.  this is not negotiable.

16.  do not wear a shirt darker than your jacket...unless of course the look you are going for is "boy at middle school dance."

17.  the style of knot in your tie must match the collar of your shirt.  if you do not understand, just give up and wear sweatpants.

18.  always match your leathers.  this is not negotiable.

19.  black suit...black shoes.  this is not negotiable.

20.  do not match your pocket square to your tie.  (see rule 16).

21.  everyone gets neck rolls in off-the-rack coats.  that's why god gave us tailors.  if I see a nasty one on you once or twice, we'll know you're trying to let the coat settle before having the collar dropped.  if I see it months later, we'll know you just don't care about yourself.

22.  for gods sake...pick a suit that fits in the shoulders.  if we see a shoulder dimple we assume you are a kid wearing dad's suit.

23.  yes, your tie must have a dimple.

24.  yes, that dimple must be properly placed.

24.  double-breasted will always look powerful...but only if its a 6/4.

25.  do not leave a double-breasted jacket undone, even when you sit.  this is not negotiable.

26.  two-button or three-button is a matter of personal preference.  anything more is inappropriate for most.

27.  if you're bottom button is buttoned, you best be wearing a single-button suit...if not, see rule 16.

28.  very few will notice the roll of your lapel...until you have a nice one.  there is a reason italian suits are italian suits.

29.  americans make damn good suits.  look for the "UNITE" inside the pocket.  or just buy a hickey freeman.

30.  there is no excuse to not own at least one nice suit.





* Hint - traditionally, americans have worn cuffs - both to protect their pants from weather and wear, and based on a belief that the added weight of cuffs permits a finer drape of the pant.  however, unless you are an ivy league idiot living in the northeast, trad is meaningless.  the brits love uncuffed.  the italians are all over the place.

** Hint - if it has pinstripes, it is a suit.  you look like a fool wearing that with jeans.  and people will know you are cheap.

life lessons from all fours...

at a time when mother nature is unleashing the end of days upon us, and a day after I am horrified that the public is shocked that, just once, 12 regular people decided they would actually believe that it was better to let 100 guilty go free than send one innocent to death, I am again remembering the simple lessons that the furballs teach each day. so here is an updated list of life lessons given to me by bacchus, hermione, nans, rick and rox...

if you are going to chew on someone, make sure they know you love them first...

sometimes it is more satisfying to just sit and watch the world go by...

life isn't always fair, sometimes there is a screen or a gate in your way...

...but if there is, take every chance you get to go past your comfort zone and experience the world...

with a bit of imagination, the packaging is better than what's inside...

it is not alright to mess with other people's shit...

...but if you really love them, you'll step aside...

everyone needs physical signs of love, even if it is a simple pat on the head...

don't be ashamed of your love for large breasts...

don't be ashamed of your big butt, your big, you're beautiful, own it...

it's ok to like being spanked...

no fence is too high to get past if there is a friend on the other side...

start every morning of your life with a whole lot of love...

...and when you think you've had enough love for that morning...give a little more...

it can make you feel better just to be in the presence of good friends...

no matter how annoying you may find your family and friends to be at times, they deserve your sacrifice...

some people may just be worth risking your life for...

respect your elders...

not everyone will like you, no matter how friendly you are...

there is no shame in joyful crying when a friend returns...

you don't need papers to feel validated...

head scratches feel really, really good...

...so does having your back rubbed...

...and your belly...

whenever you hurt someone, make sure you say you're sorry...

you are only as old as you feel...

...and it is best to feel like a kid again, even if just for a few minutes...

if your best friend is feeling down, nuzzle them...

sometimes, if you beg and plead long enough and loud enough, you'll get dessert...

nothing says love like cleaning someone else's ass when they can't do it themselves...

there is no better way to see the country than by car...

everyone needs a place they can feel safe...even if its just under the coffee table...

every adventure should end with a return home...

turn me back into that wild-haired gale.

prosecuted for the truth...

just when Obama's department of justice was getting things right by refusing to argue that the unconstitutional DOMA should be upheld, this story comes out...Julian Heicklen, an old man with convictions and obviously an understanding of the law and history of the american judicial system, is being indicted by federal prosecutors for telling the truth. see, Mr. Heicklen hands out pamphlets on the steps of the courthouse and talks to people that ask questions about the power of the jury in our legal system. unlike prosecutors and judges, he does not lie to them. he tells them they have the absolute right to ignore the law and refuse to convict if they feel a conviction would be unjust - even if they believe someone is technically "guilty beyond a reasonable doubt." the age-old tried-and-true basis of the anglo-american criminal justice system...jury nullification.

of course prosecutors hate that jury nullification exists...because they love their seemingly unadulterated power to decide who gets charged with what crimes - a power that in this day and age, essentially makes that single person the most powerful individual in your town. they really really do not want jurors to know that they have an ancient duty to nullify a law if they believe it is unjust, that jury nullification is the reason juries came into existence in the first place. and while everyone in the system recognizes that jury nullification exists and is the absolute right of the jury, we tell them otherwise - unconstitutionally. just ask some long-dead names you might recognize...

John Adams recognizing jury nullification -

"It is not only the juror's right, but his duty, in that case, to find the verdict according to his own best understanding, judgment and conscience, though in direct opposition to the direction of the court."

and Alexander Hamilton telling us how un-American and stupid (and contemptible) it would be to shun jury nullification, let alone prosecute someone for advising that it exists -

"The jury have a power of deciding an issue upon a general verdict. And, if they have, is it not an absurdity to suppose that the law would oblige them to find a verdict according to the direction of the court, against their own opinion, judgment, and conscience?"

"By withdrawing from the jury the consideration of the essence of the charge, they render their function nugatory and contemptible. Those opinions are repugnant to the more ancient authorities, which had given the jury the power, and with it the right, to be judge of the law and fact, when they were blended by the issue, and which rendered their decisions in criminal cases final and conclusive."

think about it - why do we even have the jury system?

because "fear of unchecked power, so typical of our state and federal governments in other respects, found expression in the criminal law in this insistence upon community participation in determination of guilt or innocence." Duncan v. Louisiana, 391 U.S. 145, 156 (1968). "Those who wrote our constitutions knew from history and experience that it was necessary to protect against unfounded criminal charges brought to eliminate enemies and against judges too responsive to the voice of higher authority." Id. Now, "just as suffrage ensures the people's ultimate control in the legislative and executive branches, jury trial is meant to ensure their control in the judiciary." Blakely v. Washington, 542 U.S. 296, 306 (2004).

Thus, those old white men gave us the jury, they gave us a group from the community that would "guard against the spirit of oppression and tyranny on the part of rules" and act as "the great bulwark of our civil and political liberties. United States v. Booker, 543 U.S. 220, 239 (2005). and now, we are prosecuting an old white man for telling members of the community what that actually means, for telling them what history has marked out as the role of the jury, even if the government wishes it were different. in this, he is doing America's work, because "the very reason the Framers put a jury-trial guarantee in the Constitution is that they were unwilling to trust government to mark out the role of the jury." Id., 542 U.S. at 307.

but the government wants to mark out the role of the jury, because once it can do that, nothing short of revolution can stand in its way. for this, those original old white men would be horrified and have taken to revolution, because the history they lived through taught them a simple truth about juries...

"other liberties would remain secure only so long as this palladium remains sacred and inviolate, not only from all open attacks (which none will be so hardy as to make), but also from all secret machinations, which may sap and undermine it."

Jones v. United States, 526 U.S. 227, 246 (1999).

if we continue to lie to juries and turn them into just another arm of the state, if Mr. Heicklen can be prosecuted for spreading the truth about the historical and important role juries play, what is left to stop them from running all over all of us?

midwestern pride and the government turns around a failed business...

I've been away for a decade now...and maybe that is why I can finally appreciate it in a way that might have been impossible in my younger days...either way, I've been pretty damn proud of certain midwestern segments in the last week. following the events unfolding in Wisconsin, it is difficult not to beam a little at the corn-fed masses occupying the state capital with a simple message to republican brotherhood of insanity - "Step Off My Dick!" I know that in the future, when the republicans are inevitably tossed out of office for treating public service like their own personal ATM and declaring "let them eat cake" they will use the door opened by midwestern democrats and run for the hills anytime any sensible legislation comes up (after all, they showed a severe lack of shame in abusing the filibuster without even having the balls to actually stand up and talk for days on end), but damn it is nice that for once in my lifetime the democrats put their money where their mouth was rather than roll over at the use of "deficit." it was the right thing to do and I hope they enjoy their stay in my home state, knowing that they are welcome as long as it takes.

and it is nice to see good sensible hard-working people stand up for themselves and what is right. because let's face it, if we are being honest with ourselves we have to admit a simple truth, no matter how much we joke about government workers, those jobs suck...and they pay shit for a job none of you want anyways. but they are absolutely necessary for us to have any semblence of the life we have, so we need someone to do them, we need to get some poor saps into those jobs. and how did we do it? we told them "ok, you aren't ever going to get rich because we aren't going to pay you enough for what you do and your importance to our society, and we are going to completely shit on you whenever we get a chance because you are such an easy target...but in return, we promise a few simple things - health care and a retirement." that is basically it. that is all they get. health care and a retirement. only we handed their health care and their retirements to a few big whigs on wall street...who then took whatever they could and are laughing at them from overhead in their corporate jets. so we failed on our end of the bargain, and now we want them to bend over for us? if I were in their shoes I'd be in the capital telling the legislators and governor to go fuck themselves too.

another thing, I was getting pretty damn sick of our collective historical amnesia of how unionism built this country and took it from the dark ages through the most universally prosperous decades the world may ever see. how did unions become a bad thing? got kids? like that they aren't working in a sweat shop sticking their tiny fingers into dangerous machinery? thank a union. like that you actually have weekends off? thank a union. enjoy getting a short break every few hours and some time to eat lunch? thank a union. like the idea of retiring someday without being homeless and hungry? thank a union. like social security? thank a union. employer supported healthcare? thank a union. medicare and medicaid? thank a union. the 40 hour work week? thank a union. vacations and holidays with your family? thank a union. your neighborhood? thank a union. your house? thank a union. your car? thank a union. not living in third world conditions? thank a union. like america? thank a union.

on a somewhat related note (i.e. bullshit conservative mantras proven wrong), GM made a lot of money last year...first time in quite a while. as a result, regular old factory joes and janes will get profit sharing checks worth a month or more of regular pay. republican leadership just asks that you please ignore the fact that this amazing tournaround happened while (gasp) the federal government has a 61% stake in the company. because we all know the federal government can't do anything right, that it is totally incapable of running anything and that high paid CEOs inevitably will do better on their own. except those same high paid CEOs ran GM into the ground. it was a failed company. the private sector blew it. under the guidance of the federal government, GM has returned to a global auto powerhouse. but yea, ignore the man behind the curtain.

just punch the clock...